we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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