Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You are a genius and a whore.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
