Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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