Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize