when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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