hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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