i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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