There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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