After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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