just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
