so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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