I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize