I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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