Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
