porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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