there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
