Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
