You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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