Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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