I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
