Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
