I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
