Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
