Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
