Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
