Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
