I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
