You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
