This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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