Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
