The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
