If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
