WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
