Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
