glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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