Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
