he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
