He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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