I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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