I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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