The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
