i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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