i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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