I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
