dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
