the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
