Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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