OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
