i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize