Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
