Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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