5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
