some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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