in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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