in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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