It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
