he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So much rum. So many feels.
i now understand why vodka
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
