You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
