so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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