Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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