so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
