Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
