it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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